No food for 6 days - Part 1

Apart from a few mushrooms... yes those kind of mushrooms

I am unsure how this post will evolve as I am not going to share it until the completion of my fast and ceremony on the Equinox. There is something about eyes on an incomplete experience that concerns me, and a hesitancy to share such profound moments. 

When meeting the sacred we have to be careful not to share away the experience. It can be like the Jehovas Witnesses’ banging down the door after being touched by God. By the time it gets to their mouth on my front doorstep when I am trying to eat breakfast it can lack its original momentum. It can be the same after eating a large handful of mushrooms then going home and telling your parents about multi dimensional beings or telling your ex partner you spent 500 lifetimes with her and she needs to join you in a ceremony to see it too. 

You end up sounding like a nutcase!  

Currently I am at the tail end of day two of a juice fast (this consists of only cold pressed organic fruit and vegetable juice), tomorrow I will continue, before having a further 3 days with just water. This will be completed on the Equinox with a ceremony using mushrooms and cacao.

Please do not try this at home just because I am. The truth is, most people do not have a lifestyle that supports fasting for even 1 day. I am not saying you should not do it either, only that if you have to work the checkout in a supermarket on Monday touching God on Sunday may get you hitting the snooze button, and wanting to take up a new path. This can be incredibly inconvenient to family, friends, bosses and acquaintances that are invested in you staying as you are, and can lead to crisis!

Without trying to sound cryptic, we need crisis to become who we are born to be. This is what initiation often is, throwing someone into a semi controlled crisis and seeing if they can find their way home when they are on top of the mountain in the pitch black of night.

Beauty you cannot recover from happens when you refrain from food in the woods for multiple days, then take potent psychedelics. But unless you are willing to make space for such an experience you should not do it! As a ballpark figure at least a day prior, and three days after to integrate. So for a 6 day fast, we are talking about 10 days. 

Followed by a lifetime to really integrate it!

My last medicine journey with mushrooms was after 13 days without food, which is the longest I have ever gone and it really gave the experience a precision that has been missing from many of my other journeys. 

A few side notes:

1. I am experienced working with plants ceremonially. I have been working with them for over 10 years. It took me three years of overdoing it to get a concession of butt whoopings that sent me so deep into the shadow realms it took me over a year to recover. I say this to say, working with the medicine is no joke, and if you are going to do it, do it with a guide who knows what they are doing. Unfortunately most people do not.

2. Fasting is something that again should be worked with gradually. I have been fasting for longer than I have been taking plant medicines, and have done all kinds of stupid shit. My first fast I broke with pork scratchings, which if it is not obvious, is a terrible idea. So start with one day and see how you get on. 2 days and beyond, and the body starts to detox, which can be brutal if you have a lot of toxins.

3. You can also become addicted to both plant medicines and fasting/cleansing. If you have had your liver, kidney, bladder and heart cleanse, alongside enemas, the third parasite cleanse this week and a month using just breath to live on, you probably need a burger and a bottle of tequila just to balance yourself out!

The reason these things can be so addictive is because it gives the image of doing something that cannot be denied. Sometimes the work we really need to do can be too much to bear, so we jump through challenging hoops as a form of distraction.

All of this preamble to say, here I am, on the sofa, preparing mentally, physically and spiritually to meet the divine.

Eating mushrooms in the woods, the possibilities are endless!

Day 3

The rumbling tummy has kicked in, alongside oscillating moments of extreme energy, and wanting to sleep. It is a different set and setting compared to previous fasts as I have been in the woods chopping wood and writing, alongside responsibilities of 2 dogs, 2 kids and a wife. Beautiful blessings. Tomorrow the human family is leaving for London as is the juice I have been rationing over the last 3 days (currently I am down to my last bottle of green juice and a turmeric and ginger shot).

Food has always been a big thing for me, growing up an addict to video games and having deep emotional attachment to food, and while I was vegetarian my diet mainly consisted of pizza, pasta, marmite sandwiches and crisps. This segwayed into drugs, gambling and larger plates of meaty food as I entered my teens and early twenties. I would proudly eat a large pizza hut meat feast with multiple sides, and enter a food coma before breaking for a few hours and devouring the rest. It is funny, because logically it does not feel as if food should be the biggest of my challenges, yet for me it has been! During deep ceremonies I am used to saying yes to callings and putting myself in uncomfortable situations like living in the rainforest with a tribe whose language I do not speak, voluntarily putting chilli in my eyes for initiatory purposes and living in an ashram in India for months. I also say yes to the call of soul, which has at times put me in incredibly uncomfortable financial and social situations. Plus my addictions such as alcohol, drugs and gambling are an itch that no longer needs scratching. I gave up a large social media following due to the negative effects I felt it was bringing to both me and the world at large. Yet when I was last sat in a plant medicine ceremony, and the mushrooms asked are you ready to overcome your addiction to food, I was hesitant, and unable to say yes!

What is strange is I have incredible moments of discipline. I am not new to spending multiple months on very strict diets to help to commune with plants I am dieting, during Yoga training I have lived predominantly off fruit and fasted many times, in recent times with relative ease (13 days was the longest). But the return to reality often comes with a side of greasy chips, and over indulgence. Even the idea of committing to returning slow after this fast makes me feel a little anxious. 

But here we are, in the shadow realms, not 100% sure what is guiding this age old battle scar. But I am saying yes. Yes to overcoming that which is difficult and accepting the consequences of being a conscious creator with free will. 

With more conscious awareness comes more responsibility and knowing something is bad for you and continuing to do it has deeper ramifications. This is why the fall of so many spiritual teachers is so dramatic - they become so pure that nearly everything is off the table and with this comes a big fall should you decide to indulge in that which you know you should not. I used to put that kind of pressure on myself in the past, thank fuck I am not anymore. 

Life is beautiful, and I am having a great time, and with this I accept that I am indeed a flawed person. If I put those flaws in a box and label it “do not touch” a dragon is born, and that dragon can incinerate my entire world. The paradox is, we should put forth our best effort and if we can stop doing things that are harmful to ourselves and others, we should oblige. But the deeper you go, the deeper the realisation that it is hard to take a step without harming an adventuring ant. I learned this in our forest, chopping wood. Every time I split a log out pops a burrowing woodlouse or spider guarding its eggs. I still attempt to save the little bugs as the hidden ones try to make a break once I put a log on the fire, but if I get too emotional I will spend my life hopping around the woods trying to avoid any potential life I could squish. 

The same is true for our bodies, the harsh truth is the very act of breathing is harmful in most cities with pollution. But if we spend all our time trying to protect ourselves from every little pitfall, we will end up a walking ball of anxiety!

Day 3 is slowly coming to a close, and I am feeling reflective and grateful. Accepting of my flaws, while willing to illuminate damaging behaviours. 

Dare I say, I am willing to address my unhealthy eating habits?

Yes! 

This is part one in a 2 part series of articles, if you would like to read the second part it is in the comments section.

Have you ever fasted? Or had profound journeys of any kind? I would love to hear how you have found a connection to divinity in the comments below.